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PALM BEACH, Florida –
President Trump has spent most of his winter vacation golfing with friends and family at Mar-A-Lago in Palm Beach, but on his latest outing, the President was caught with his pants up…when perhaps they should have been down.
According to photographers at the golf game, President Trump was on the 13th hole and right after teeing off, he let out “a massive, wet, drippy fart sound.”
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“It was simultaneously hilarious and disgusting,” said Chris Robbins, the photographer who captured the immediate aftermath. “I wasn’t getting any really good shots throughout the day, but then I heard Trump rip one, really hard and really wet. I look over, and he has literally shit himself. It was made even more hilarious because, like most dipshit golfers, he was wearing stupid clothes – white pants!”
Robbins was able to get a great shot of the President being scurried away by a member of his staff and his caddy, with brown streaks running down the back of his pants.
“I honestly think this picture might win me a Pulitzer,” said Robbins. “It’s far and away the best thing I’ve ever taken. So many of the other guys bought me beers in the Mar-A-Lago club lounge after this photo was published, I could barely stand up. Hell, I almost shit myself.”
The President had no comment on the incident, and maintained that “it never happened.”
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Craps is one of the most lively games in a Las Vegas casino, and it’s also one of the games with the most colorful jargon.
Over the decades, craps dealers (many of them bored out of their skulls) have come up with clever ways of calling out dice numbers, often based upon rhymes.
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Here’s a collection of our favorite names for dice combinations in craps.
Because the number seven is the most frequently rolled number on the dice, it has the most nicknames. Sevens, by the way, are jerks, except on what’s called the “come-out roll.” Long story.
Many of the slang terms for craps numbers have fascinating stories behind them. We obviously won’t be talking about those here, because we have a reputation to preserve.
An “Australian yo” is called that because on the opposite sides (“down under”) of a 1 and 2 are a 6 and 5. Those total 11, and “yo” is another name for 11. It’s called “yo” because it’s bad luck to say “seven” at a craps table. Please keep up.
It’s the “lumber number” (2-4) because of 2-by-4s, woodwise.
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A “ballerina” is called that because, wait for it, two 2s sound like “tutu.” Hey, we didn’t say this was rocket science.
A 4-5 combination is called a “Jesse James” because the notorious outlaw was shot with a .45 caliber pistol.
A pair of threes is called “Brooklyn Forest” because, wait for it, “two trees.” The reference may date back to the 1943 novel, “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.”
A hard six is also sometimes referred to as “sixie from dixie.”
An easy six (a five and one) is sometimes called “alien handshake.”
A pair of fives can also be called as a “pair of sunflowers.”
At one time, the 3-2 combo was called “O.J.” (his uniform number was 32), before, you know, he murdered people. Now, the script has been flipped, and that combo reversed is 2-3, or Michael Jordan’s uniform number, 23.
Craps, of course, is a male-dominated game, so we hear the roll of 2-3 is also known as the “waitress roll,” because it’s a “pair and a tray.”
Naturally, our list isn’t complete. Names like “boxcars” for 12 have sometimes been replaced with colorful counterparts. A 12 can also be referred to as “all the spots we got.”
Thanks to our reader James H. for this gem: A roll of three is sometimes called a “shocker,” because its a two and a one. Saucy!
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Reader Jonathan T. says he’s heard dealer refer to the hard six as “Colombian breakfast” because, well, two lines.